🎄 The Legend of Skonzies: The Scones That Saved Christmas

Skonz
3 days ago
2 min read

’Twas the night before Christmas,and things at the North Pole were falling apart faster than a gingerbread house in July.

The reindeer were grumpy, the GPS was screaming “recalculating,” and Santa had misplaced his list — again. The elves were running on cold cocoa and existential dread. Morale: zero.

Then Mrs. Claus sighed, rolled her eyes, and said the words that changed holiday history:

“Someone get me a box of Skonzies.”

Frustrated Santa, smoking a pipe, crying, elves, grumpy, reindeer, and Mrs. Claus with a fresh box of Skonzies Artisanal Scones — Frustrated Santa

🧁 Act I — The Turning Point

Now, Santa wasn’t a scone guy. He was a lifelong cookie loyalist — rigid, predictable, stuck in his ways.But desperate times call for better carbs.

One box of Skonzies Naughty & Nice Sampler later, the man was reborn.He took one bite, his pupils dilated like Rudolph’s nose, and he muttered through crumbs,

“We’ve been doing Christmas wrong.”

The elves stared.The cookies unionized.But the scones stayed.

A platter of Skonzies holiday scones. — Skonzies naughty and nice six scone sampler

🥃 Act II — The Transformation

Within minutes, Santa’s mood lifted.He started cracking jokes, complimented an elf, even apologized to Blitzen for “that 2012 incident.”

He declared the Naughty & Nice Sampler “jet fuel for joy” and refused to leave the workshop until he’d tested “both sides of the moral spectrum.”Product research, he said.

Mrs. Claus didn’t argue — she was halfway through her own box.

🕯️ Act III — The Christmas Morning Miracle

By sunrise, the sleigh was faster, the reindeer happier, and Santa slightly rounder. Children awoke to perfect presents and a faint scent of butter in the air. Some said it was magic. Others said it was heartburn.

Either way, Christmas had never gone so smoothly.